One of the biggest challenges of giving relationship advice to people is telling them like it is while not being too blunt about it.
Honestly, I don’t mind sharing my insights whenever the guy in their life is giving them some grief. But the thing I’ve noticed with these poor gals is that their problems aren’t just AVOIDABLE, but also caused by their OWN doing.
At first, you’d think these girls have the worst of luck when it comes to men. Why else would they wind up with one jerk after another?
But the hard truth is that these losers are in their lives because they ALLOWED it to happen.
They may not have any control over their guy’s jerky behavior, but ENABLING it is another matter. Sometimes, I feel like telling them that it’s THEIR fault for putting up with it, but constructive advice is a lot more effective than playing the blame game.
Based on my own experience, I’ve learned a little trick to break the nasty cycle of dating the same jerk over and over. After I made a subtle but powerful shift in my attitude, the right kind of men came into my life – while keeping the wrong ones out.
Know what that trick is? It’s called Taking It One Step At A Time.
Quality guys understand that winning over a girl is a process that happens in phases. They’re sensible enough to make sure a girl’s comfortable enough before turning up things a notch.
In other words, these guys know it takes work to get into a healthy and stable relationship – they don’t take a girl’s affection for granted.
So, attracting this type of man means not rushing into a relationship (or his bed) at the first chance you get.
It also means not putting your entire life on hold for him just to make sure that he sticks around. If you’re so worried that he might bail on you if you don’t give him 110% of your time, then you should ask yourself if he’s worth keeping in the first place.
Any man worth your time isn’t going to force you to cancel your yoga class, lunch with the girls or any other important stuff in your life before he came along.
Backing off a little and letting the courtship run its course will do you a whole lot of good. You don’t have to kiss him on the first date (or more), take a sick day from work just to see him, or start cooking him five-course meals when he comes over for dinner.
Pace yourself – a slow burn is better than pulling out all the stops for him. Besides, there’s no fun in that for him.
A man doesn’t have much of an incentive to pursue a girl who runs herself ragged just to get his approval. Remember, great relationships are only possible when the people involved are on EQUAL footing.
If you’re willing to take your time and get a feel of each other (figuratively speaking) before committing to something serious, it shows that you value yourself.
Think of it this way: a self-respecting attitude acts as a sort of filter that separates the wheat from the chaff.
As for the short-term guys with the habit of leaving women high and dry, they’ll take their business elsewhere rather than stick around and win you over.
Don’t lose any sleep or waste any tears over them, sweetie – after all, it’s their loss.
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